In His Time: Giving Up Control

Monday, January 26, 2015

When I was between 6 & 11 years old, I would visit my mom at our local library where she worked in the genealogy department. If I asked her, she would pull up old newspaper clippings on a massive computer screen & I would busy myself by flipping through local stories of former inhabitants of our home town in Oklahoma. I came across the funniest stories of every day people, some planning local events, some marriage & baby announcements & obituaries, too. I think my fascination with people & writing came about in those years as I really started embracing the oddities that make up our imperfect worldly stories.
I created a bucket list not long after I started reading through the articles. I wanted a unique, adventurous life story like some of those I had read about. Though, i'm not sure I knew it was a bucket list at the time but rather a way to list the things I was sure to accomplish as I grew older, down to the year I would accomplish them. It's a funny thing, time. As life unravels & we learn more about who we are, or Jesus teaches us about ourselves, those bucket list plans can change in an instant. I don't see this as a failure but more as a different road to travel on. My 6 year old dream of dancing on stage at Barney Live! has been replaced with traveling to New Zealand with my husband. The goal of one day owning a puppy farm where I would be the head veterinarian? That's gone too but has been re-listed as 'buy an old home & turn it into our dream house'. I think a mistake we can make is attempting to follow through with plans our heart is no longer enticed with. Sure, it seemed logical to take in 100 puppies when I was 7 years old but times have changed & the Lord has placed within me new desires & dreams.
"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." Psalm 20:4
Recently at our church we've been discussing our calling & what makes each of us unique as daughters & sons of our Savior. I still have a huge heart for people & a real love of planning. I love to list-make, I love to write. Though I discover a little about my purpose each day, I am certain it includes helping others & using creativity to connect people to the Kingdom of God.  Do I think my childhood goals are purposeless? Absolutely not. I am grateful for each of those goals because it helped me maintain a sense of hope and faith even before I accepted Jesus into my life. I felt a strong presence in the face of each new goal I set growing up. I was never scared to raise the bar higher or share my dreams with others because of this. I felt bold because God was with me each time I added to that bucket list.
Few plans have been carried out exactly as I wrote them in my Lisa Frank journal. However, my goal of getting married to a man as cute as Jonathon Taylor Thomas at age 24 most certainly did.
We aren't called to perfectly plan our lives. We are however, called to be bold. "The righteous are as bold as a lion." Proverbs 28:1.
No matter where we think we should be, God ultimately has the reigns & will direct our lives if we are willing to give that control over to Him. Everything is perfect in His time.

No comments:

Post a Comment